As I make my way through a new book on self discovery, I struggle to answer a simple yet complex question…the question is “what do I have to offer in a relationship? ”
I am at a complete loss, its not that I lack self love, I guess I just don’t know what qualities I contribute to a situation. Sometimes I have made suggestions to people that have led to a improvement in their life. I was recently told that an idea I thought of has enabled a girl and her grandfather grow their relationship. I am sure there are other incidents that are similar, I just haven’t received the feedback.
This question was posed regarding starting a new relationship, which I am open to begin. I have met someone, he has expressed interest, so no unrequited like(?)/ love; we live in different states and he travels from East coast to West coast for work ( two weeks on each Coast).We met nearly a year ago, and the moment he grasped my hand (for pre meal blessing), I felt what I can I describe as a jolt of electricity. Never have I experienced something like this, it was amazing and scary simultaneously. There is a connection, I feel like there is a cord between us, reeling out over the divide, yet pulled in tight when we occupy the same space.
We will be on the same group trip, as planned a year ago. I am so unsure of myself, I know that the group intends to put us together. I will be riding with him on the motorcycle adventure through the desert. I feel I am living the Schrodinger’s cat theory. I told him I would like to talk to him without an audience, his response was lol.
I am struggling with this issue, maybe that is a sign that I am not as ready as I thought for a relationship. I think it’s time to take a step back, other than my intuition, there is not much substance to our…whatever one would call this.
The term “friend” has been changed forever by social media, it is now synonymous with someone you may have similar ideologies, people who are “friends” with other people, in some instances, one you never physically met. This makes describing relationships challenging for me. I have always kept a small inner circle of people I call friends and many acquaintances, people I have met or known but don’t get to know the true me.
As I type this, I realize I am sharing part of the inner me with everyone that cares to read, just putting it out there.
Snowmoon Adventures 