Today, the first day of the rest of my life. My Dad had that saying on his desk, every day is a new start; a fresh slate to write your truth. Today, the change in my world is starting a new medication. Well an old medication that I have not used in many years, its not that the disorder went away, only that the access to the medication changed. I had changed jobs and one of the conditions of the new job was no time off. I remember insisting that I be allowed to miss a half day of the training because of a funeral- and that was met with great resistance . I could only imagine if I had said I need to see my doctor so I can get my meds; mental health was not viewed through the same eyes as it is today, volunteering that one needed a psychatrist and medication was one step from commitment and me a social worker.
I realize that this is not a miracle drug, it will not poof and fix my life- not that I think my life needs fixing. I am quite happy with my current situation. I do realize that I often get off track and hyper focus on the wrong things. It makes my tasks so much more difficult; sometimes, going down the rabbit hole has benefits. I have often discovered something I was not looking for that is of great benefit to my life by chasing the wrong rabbit.
I do realize that I need to come up with a game plan, a tangible to do list that I can mark off my accomplishments. I also am finding that time seems to have slowed down. I recently read that squirrels process light at different speed than humans- much faster. That explains their constant movement in hyper speed- darting about in what seems like erratic motion. I have been living in that speed while the rest of the world is traveling in what I perceived as slow motion. No wonder I was often anxious, I am much more at ease with myself today.
Where to go from here…well, I did not create the chaos in one day, I can not expect to sort it out in one day. I will target one area and hope that I can get order to that space between today and tomorrow. I have my regular To Do List- laundry, meal prep, cleaning and home maintenance.
I ordered some citrus trees that can grow in pots, of course they arrived mid week and we are having a cold front pass through. I really need to get them into some pots and the berry bushes I ordered should be delivered today. The goal is to grow what I can of my diet. I eat basically the same things each week and most of it can be grown year round in my climate. I have limited yard, so container garden it is. The plants will have to remain indoors until this cold front passes, plants in containers are more vulnerable to cold temperatures, they are also more portable.
I want to spend some time enjoying my weekend. I wold love to paint, but that is a lot of set up as I am moving the whole lot from one room to another room (up a flight of stairs). I will eventually get to that room situated, but not this weekend. This weekend is about the planning, I have several projects that are works in process, I need to start by getting those organized and see where I am on each one.
I need to stop procrastinating and just get some things done…like this mountain of clean laundry that I need to fold and put away.
Snowmoon Adventures 