Today ‘s adventure started at the wonderful big box store with a star. I went to get a freon for the car and a new brace for my wrist…but its school supply season here in Florida. My favorite season is here!

Oh the treasures, most for the people in my life.

A three ring binder for my friend to keep all his medical papers in, he is a non reader and often does not know the answer to the doctor’s questions. Fortunately, he has a dear friend that takes him to appointments that can fill in the blanks. I have a medical binder, as my primary care doctor is not always kept in the loop with other providers- electronic medical records are not always that efficient.

Three workbooks for my homeschool granddaughters as well as some supplies to help with the activities. Its not a curriculum, but its something to keep them learning and so much is online, the children are not developing fine motor skills and critical thinking. (I have watched online learners just keep guessing until they happened upon the answer.) The dry erase boards are my favorites, the ones for the girls are blank on one side and have primary school line for writing practice.

The dry erase boards are on super sale. I left the store with quite a few. One for my Beau, one for his mother and one for my car. As we are back to lock down and no visitors at the Home, window visits are all we get. I dropped off a dry erase board for her, a bouquet of flowers and I filled the bird feeder up.
I met up with Beau at lunchtime to give him his, he can go by on e his way home and write notes to her through the window. She was at dialysis when I went by, so when she returns she will have some treats.

I stopped at the dollar store and picked up some supplies that only they carry…odd the discount store has the large pencils, about half inch diameter as well as large crayons- both ideal for developing fine motor skills and arthritic hands (the start and end of the life cycle). I will be visiting the store more often as they are unpacking more and more school supplies…I have a specific list of items that I like to have on hand, and some are only available at this time of year.

I am now home, its hot and muggy, I have plants that need to be put in the earth this evening. The day got away from me, but I brought joy to a few souls today. Its time to start the evening meal and think about what tomorrow will bring. I am thinking I may venture to the beach for some fun in the sun.

New adventures is the only perspective I can take on this branch of my journey. There have been some health changes, nothing overly serious…definite changes. Celiac is now a word that can be used to define my person, as well as an unknown allergen that causes hives and lip swelling (that was a scary experience)…EpiPen carrier, another phrase that is part of my life. In other news, the business that was my work home has closed.

A daily entry will now be part of my recreation of the new improved most wonderful ME. I am taking this time away from the daily demands of the retail world and focusing on me, finding what makes me happy, The activities that bring joy to my person, finding the spiritual path that my spirit seeks, finding harmony in my home.

I am actively pursuing a new career path, one that utilizes all or most of my educational knowledge as well as my many years of management skills with a focus on bookkeeping. That is where my true heart is , just the numbers, not the people. The management of things (inventory or accounts) that is where I am most happy; troubleshooting is also a treat, finding the solution to a problem is just a puzzle to me.

On the home front, the kitchen has been partially ripped out; the upper cabinets have been removed. The contents of the cabinets are in various tubs positioned throughout the ground floor; my new June oven is on the landing of the second floor. I vowed that the June oven would not be unboxed until the new kitchen is in place. The new kitchen will be designed by me, to be functional for me; including the height of the counter tops. Now mind you, I thought I would have an income and a means to pay for new appliances, slight change of plans…but maybe for the better. There is a mini fridge upstairs, that I bought when the fan went out in the GE fridge. That could be used as my fridge, and I have the deep freezer – that will be my work surface with my various cutting boards, silicone mats, etc.

I have yet to actually draw up the plans, or finish packing up the contents of the kitchen. I was on quite a roll, then a tropical storm / hurricane formed and was headed our way. I lost my rhythm of packing and sorting, which I need to get back on track.

I am the evacuation point for my son and his family of seven plus pets. This involves moving my personal items out of my bedroom into the second bedroom. Preparing my bedroom for the guests and their pets (two snake tanks, five cats of varying ages and a small terrier). My dresser tops become home to the snakes (near outlets / away from drafts), setting up the traditional litter box and wee wee pads, setting up toiletries for small children, infant and adults not on the curly girl hair method. One of their family members is an adult male, he gets his own space on the ground floor.

It takes a day to prep the house; then there is the menu plan, shop, food prep complete with back up meals for children and plenty of snacks. They stayed for 36 hours, my son had to report to work the day after the storm passed. It will take a few days to move everything back to its original place. Eventually, I want to set the second bedroom up in a fashion that would suit their needs and I can stop moving my world- first I need to finish my kitchen.

Todays goal will be to draw up the plans for the new kitchen and pack up the rest of the kitchen cabinets. A trip to the library to return some books and maybe a trip into the hardware store to see the options for hanging my pots and pans.

It has been a year since this global pandemic and lockdown has begun, I realized today that I am depressed. There is no imparticular reason, there are many…I am just not happy. It has occured to me that it has been a year since I have been able to travel, it has been a year of the same thing every day, no variation. I am blessed that I live in Florida, the least restrictive of the United States, but most of my planned adventures were for destinations not in Florida. The group trip to Las Vegas was the first to be cancelled, the multiple weekend getaways to South Carolina were cancelled one by one (someone was in quarantine or ill – I stopped planning them…why bother) and the long awaited trip to Scotland.

I have had many self awareness moments recently. I have come to realize how many people treat me like I am a pair of snow boots in Florida, very important when needed, otherwise, just tossed aside in the back closet. I was made aware (a week after the fact) that one of my friends’ daughter passed away. I am saddened by the loss of a young lady, but it further reinforces the distance, I have no spoke to my friend in over a year. The last time we spoke, she expressed her frustration with the young lady of topic. My children are another group that only seem to contact me when they need something.

Then comes the health issues…I was at one specialist waiting room when I received the news of the young lady. A specialist I do not believe I need to be seeing, the area of his specialty is no longer part of my body- I am not sure why I would continue to see him. Unfortunately, by the time I was in a room to see him, I was completely in shock over the news of the young lady’s untimely death. We decided to reschedule – he will apply the co-pay to the next visit – very considerate on his part, although I am not sure when I will return if ever. Then my primary doctor’s nurse called with the test results of the Colo guard, the result is positive. Positive for what(???), just positive – I need to see another specialist. After a quick google search, and several deep breaths, I am focusing on the rate of false positives and this could be a harmless shedding of the lining (completely normal). After several phone calls to the specialist office, I have an appointment in six weeks, clearly this is not an urgent matter. I guess I will stop being concerned and anxious, put it in a bubble and blow it away.

I need to find a way to get out of this rut. I need to find something to shake up this daily grind of existence. The weather is improving, maybe I can resume my beach mornings, its hard to be depressed at the ocean. I am looking into changing up my eating plan, not just to improve my health but to shed the few pounds that have accumulated over the year of inactivity. The gym is out, the schedule is not conducive with my work schedule and exposure is risky.

The anxiety of the dreaded COVID and its mutations have become a norm, just when I think there is a break through point looming, I am knocked for a loop. I am allergic to one of the ingredients in the Moderna vaccine, and per the scheduler, I will need to receive my vaccine in a clinical setting in the event of a reaction. Then there is the false sense of security, those that have received their vaccines think they can be unmasked, the vaccine only reduces the effects of the illness for the vaccinated- that person can carry it and spread it to those who are not vaccinated.

Then there is the sign I read in one of the specialist office…the virus can live for 16 hours in the room air- keep your mask on even if you are alone in the room. This contradicts all I have read, part of me wishes I could get this damn virus and be done with it…that or have the option to self isolate. As an “essential worker” according to the White House, I never had the option to not report to work. As a contract station, I have none of the benefits of a Postal Employee.

All in all, as I make a list of all the potential reasons for my depression, there seems to be a bit more than even I was expecting when I started this list. I know there are people in far worse situations than I am in. I can only worry about me right now, I need to focus on my needs, not that of others. One thing that is super annoying, is smiling under this mask and pretending to be in a chipper mood for the customers. I really just want to just have a break, some time to not be “ON”, to be healthy and just be able to relax and maybe enjoy myself.

My new year was off to a bumpy start. I was worn down from the holiday season, busiest one yet at the little beachside post office- record sales numbers everyday.

The second week of January, I developed symptoms similar to the dreaded COVID, off to the urgent care center. The provider (ARNP) was decked out in full PPE, so she could swab my nasal passage; the medical assistant was only wearing a mask and she spent more time in close contact with me. The provider did not get the swab into my throat (making me wonder how accurate all the testing numbers can possibly be if the data collection is flawed). I was instructed to remain in quarantine until I received the test results. That’s it, no treatment, no advise, nothing…not take aspirin, eat chicken soup, stay hydrated, rest…nothing; oh wait, did I want pain medication (??) I never said anything about pain.

That is all behind me now, I hope. I have no idea what I had- it was deemed not COVID. I was moderately ill, more off my norm than actually ill. I had a persistent low grade fever, sore throat, ear pressure, altered taste (things were just not how they were supposed to be) and most annoying…the woozy feeling that I could not shake off. I was getting seasick watching television, standing, walking through the house and winded when using the stairs.

The new year adventures start today…hopefully. Tonight I am planning to venture to St Augustine to see the holiday lights. My long time buddy and I are planning to go, I don’t care to drive at night, although I have worked out why and a potential solution. We are both struggling to cope with chronic pain, and weather holding (damp cold effects us negatively), we plan to go have a nice car ride, a walking (very slowly) through the downtown and then a nice car ride home.

Saturday is my errand day, but Saturday afternoon my son and his family are coming over to help me with some tasks around the house. We plan on having dinner and then watching some British Comedies. This is always an adventure as he has four children under the age of 6, three girls and one infant boy.

Sunday is the first trip to the Zoo in 2021. My plan is to visit the Zoo at least once a month, make the most of my membership. The trips were limited in 2020 due to closure and limits. Now, we have mastered social distancing, wearing masks, and the Zoo limits the number of guests.

The new year goal is one trip a month to the Zoo. The intention is to travel each weekend to some destination in Florida to explore my home state. There is so much history and novelty in Florida, and I need to get to know more of it. Pack a lunch, the paint box and some canvas boards and I am off to see my home state.

As of today, I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life  Church.  To new beginnings in this new year, a new facet to my life, what adventures will this bring.

I had not intended to open this door, but the Path led me this way,  I wish there were a little more than complete the form with your name and email address, but in this modern world, in this modenr world, anyone can be anything.

I feel that by proclaiming myself a minister, I am belittling those who have studied and put forth great effort to gain knowledge and skill.  I do not feel that by degree in merely registering with an online .com, I am  entitled to call myself a minister, but then maybe what I do everyday is minster to the people I serve daily.  I have a Bachelor Degree in Supervision and Management, I actually earned that degree, without the assistance of modern cheat hacks, (hiring tutors to do the work, looking up the test quesations in paid webpages), I read and studied and studied to earn my degree.  I am proud of that Velum.

THis new year, I am looking forward to new adventures, I have a trip out west planned, and I am open to new love this year; and all that it entails.  I will focus more on the positives in my immeadiate world.  I will become self reliant and self sufficient.

I am deterrmined that this year, I will selll my art work.  I have not even finished a painting, let alone begun to manufacture anything.   I need to release the fear of failure, and embrace the potential lesson learned from what ever the outcome.  I have mentally prepared for the rejection, I can comprehend that not all art is atractive to all people.  Acknowledging that on the cognitive level is one things, having people criticize my artwork is perosnal, and that is the hard pill to swallow.

Focus on the positive,  Focus on the Morrigan, Focus on the growth of me. Happy  New Year. Happy Samhain.     

 

the power is slowly building, as the  Wheel turns, the veil is thinning, I can feel the energy shifting.  The close of this year is welcome, though it has not been my worst season, it certainly has not been the best.  I have felt rather stagnant, jus tmuddling through, not making real progress, just kind of meandering along.   

the New Moon was last night, juast a small simple ritual, nothing elobarte.  that is the glory of this Path, there is no grandoise pagentry, just the basic elements.  a bath with my crafted bathbombs, three crystals (citrine, amethyst and clear quartz), three purple candles and a white.  a brief meditation, writing my manifestations on bay leafs and burning them.  clean and cleanse the house, focus on my path, increase my art related income.  that is it.  all i want to see this month.

Morrigan is calling, and I have answered her.  the focus this turn will be the Red Queen, my focus this    turn will be as the Queen aspect, post Mother, pre Crone. that is the phase that matches my physical life.

this turn, I will see many new places, as there are several trips plannned, some with new friends some with old friends, one with both. it is time for the strong woman that has been docile for so long to emerge.  the power is within, to control the fate and destiny of my realm.

My walk on the beach this morning was very brief, the sand is soft and unsettled, the the waves have created a very steep dune system, one that is not conducive to walking.  The surf is very rough, the undertow too much to enjoy a leisurely stroll, more of determined march.  There was no sense of peace this morning, an energy I can not put words to.  The water is cooler, only slightly warmer than the air.  I will need to fill my bucket tomorrow, the start of my sea salt quest.

The new year is approaching, and Moirrigan and Lugh are to be my focus dieties this year, I will incorporate them in my if daily life.  I am looking forwrd to this year, to hone my craft and increase my art.    If I am able to selll my art and make money, great, if not I will work to support my art.  If I am able to sell my craft creations, that would be grand, if not, then i will just share with select people.

The new year will begin on Samhain, and I am planning to set up a permanent altar, secure the torches and be more faithful in my practice.   Last year, Carol joined me and   I prefer to practice alone.  I am a soliti would solitary practicitioner, this is betwen me and my dieties, not a bunch of other life forms. I would like to install a shower, complete with hot water-after the siding is complete.

This year will be a more active year in my life, I have several trips planned, and I am open to new love.  I am finally to a point that I would like more than JM can offer, he will always have a place in my heart, but it is time for me to move on to a more fufilling romantic invovlement. I will see what the universe has in store for me.