Today will be an indoor day, the focus on sorting the various stuff in the house that needs to not be here anymore. There are things that need to be listed and sold, there are things that need to be donated to the charity shop, and there are things that need to find there way to the dumpster. The accumulation of things has reached a point that makes my environment unpleasant. This is not a hoarder situation by any means, it is simply that many of my family want to live the minimalist lifestyle, but want someone to keep the family heirlooms. I was the nominated and designated person.

Some things, well, like the two trolling motors were bought to go with the two fishing boats gifted to me by my Beau. He thought the electric motors would replace the gas motors- he has no knowledge of boats and the accessories. One of the boats has been sold. one still sits in the garage waiting for me to get it water ready. Then to convince the Beau that I will be safe on the waterway is another challenge.

Some of the things are my grandchildren ‘s toys that are in disarray. THey should be all in little bins that fit in a larger toy chest. THey are not sorted the little bins are either overstuffed or empty. I may or may not get to that today, although that is the biggest fuss the Beau makes is the toys.

I have a bunch of little things to list on eBay, this might be the right time as the kids are preparing for back to school and these can be used to decorate their lockers and such. I have a lot of other odds and ends to list on eBay. My intention was to set up a dedicated computer for listing and processing orders. I have all I need but the space- I guess that’s where clearing out the stuff helps to make space for things like this.

Today, I will clear an area for my drafting desk on the ground floor. I need that to draw on, when I sit at that table, with the soft jazz in the background, I am transported back to the drafting classroom. It is serene, the focus is on the paper and lead, the other stresses of the world melt away.

The physical environment adds to the internal struggle, to be who I want to be or who the world thinks I should be. To live my life how I see it bringing me the most joy, or to try and please those around me to gain their approval. Every day is a challenge, everyday brings new anxiety, adding to yesterday’s struggle.

Ideally, my kitchen would be done, a neat functional space that suits my height and my cooking style. My den would have the TV mounted on the wall, the sectional flush with the adjoining wall and a small washable rug in the center.

The back room would have my art easel and station set up, ready to paint. My drafting table would be set up under a good light source, ready to design. A computer would be to the right (my CAD program only operates on Windows 7). My reading chair and a side table, with my mother’s bookcase next to it.

The kids stuff in the toy box, with plenty of space to set it out if they come to play. A large open space with a compass rug to sit on. The dining table made by my Beau from reclaimed wood in the corner, to be used to pack sales or eat for family gatherings.

The reality, the table is covered in what I will find out today…I know a Lego set that will take months to build. There are tables to paint in the space the drafting table will live, and there is a wall of tubs in the way to get to my reading chair.

Baby steps, my friend tells me, well today I am taking giant steps, not baby steps. It will be an adventure as I stroll down memory lane with each item I sort and decide its fate…wish me luck, no strength to get this done.